I'm feeling a little Forrest Gumpish...My momma never actually said this but marriage is like having newborn kittens-it's a good thing but there are responsibilities with it and it can get messy but you don't throw it(them) away because of the messes or the responsibilities.
Eh...maybe not the best of quotes or analogies...let me write some more and see if I can come up with something better before I get to the end of the post. If you can think of a Gumpish quote on marriage and kittens leave it in the comments. (I suppose it could just be a good quote on marriage but as you may know my kitty just had kittens)
Tomorrow, my husband and I will have been married 23 years. Yay us! I knew we would make it that long as long as we both were still alive just like I know we will make it to 40 or 50 or more years of marriage.
When my husband proposed, he picked out a spot to ask me to marry him that he thought I would like, he picked a day that was significant to our relationship and he picked out a ring he knew I would like. He is a great man and I knew he loved me but when he asked me to marry him I didn't just say "yes!" I looked at him and said, "You know I don't believe in getting divorced...do you still want to get married?" He said, "Yes!" and so did I. I made him promise to never say the "D" word, not even in a teasing way because I know how words become thoughts and thoughts if repeated enough can become actions and I refuse to let that thought/action into my relationship with my husband. If he could not have made that commitment to me then we would not have gotten married.
However, please understand that just because I am committed to my relationship and marriage doesn't mean that I am going to judge anyone who gets a divorce. Sometimes marriages must end and sometimes it is for the best.
So I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you are thinking about getting married consider eliminating the "D" word from your vocabulary...can you honestly say, "I know I will be with this person-as long as we both shall live," and mean it? Do you know them well enough to know if they are the type of person who will hurt you? Can you see his/her flaws and love him/her anyway?
Sure, over time people change, interests change but in marriage those changes don't have to make you grow apart they can bring you closer together. Can you make that commitment without adding 'what ifs or as long as he/she doesn't' kind of statements? If not, perhaps you might want to wait a little longer before saying "Yes!" or "I do."
Well, I still don't have a better Forrest Gumpish quote so I'll leave you with some other quotes...
"Those marriages generally abound most with love and constancy that are preceded by a long courtship." JOSEPH ADDISON, The Spectator, Dec. 29, 1711
"Two such as you with such a master speed
Cannot be parted nor be swept away
From one another once you are agreed
That life is only life forevermore
Together wing to wing and oar to oar."
ROBERT FROST, The Master Speed
In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage.
Robert Anderson
Ok...ok...let's not be so serious that we forget to laugh even at the fine institution of marriage...
Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house.
Lewis Grizzard
All marriages are happy. It's the living together afterward that causes all the trouble.
Raymond Hull
"I love being married. It's so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life." - Rita Rudner
Oh...oh...how about this...lol
My momma never said...marriage is like a newborn kitten...cute and adorable at first...but then...meow! It gets interesting. lol
Peace and Blessings!
JulieD
Terrific post! Before we were married, my husband said exactly what you have here. No saying the D-word. Ever. Not for any reason. And he and you were both right.
ReplyDeleteSaying it puts it out there--it makes is possible. It's worked for us for almost thirty years now, and I can honestly say that just as we knew it then, we know it now: we were meant to be together and we will remain together, come what may.
My “M” post is right here: http://www.word-nerd-speaks.com/2011/04/medical-marijuana.html
Happy Anniversary to you both!! What a blessing your kids have by your example of Marriage and commitment.
ReplyDelete